第三辑 为人处世 Volume 3: Dealing with People
昨天讲到了发菩提心的次第，生起菩提心是一定有次第的。如果曾经过去生中，或这一生没有修过菩提心的人，直接就可以把菩提心发起来，那是不可能的事情。
Yesterday, we talked about the progressive stages of generating Bodhicitta; there is definitely a progressive process in developing Bodhicitta. If someone has never cultivated Bodhicitta in past lives or in this lifetime, it is not possible for them to directly generate Bodhicitta.
即使是过去世修菩提心有一定成就的人，但是因为隔世之谜，他还是需要从前面的开始修习，只不过他修得比较快，可以快速地从知母开始。
Even if someone had achieved a certain level of accomplishment in cultivating Bodhicitta in past lives, due to the confusion of rebirth, they still need to begin the practice from the initial stages. However, their progress may be faster, and they can swiftly start at the stage of "knowing the mother" [recognizing that all sentient beings have been our mothers].
其实知母是很困难的一件事情，念恩相对来说比较容易，知母念恩，绝大部分人第二步念恩就比较容易一点，但是有个别的人说念恩也很困难，那就是他自己的事情、他自己的业。
In fact, "knowing the mother" is a very challenging task, while "recollection of kindness" [retrospect mother's kindness] is relatively easier. For most people, the second step of "recollection of kindness" is somewhat easier, but there are a few individuals for whom even recollecting kindness is difficult, and that is due to their own personal circumstances and karma.
我们一切的善念、修行的开始就是念恩。儒家文化也好，不管是什么文化，基督教师父是研究过的，我妈信基督教几十年了，他们信基督教的人最重要的就是感恩，修这个感恩的心，无论哪一个宗教都是一样的，包括我们儒家的文化。
The beginning of all our kind intentions and practices is recollection of kindness. Whether it's Confucian culture or any other culture, including Christianity that I have studied. My mother has been a Christian for several decades, and gratitude is the most important aspect for Christians. Cultivating a grateful mind is the same in any religion, including our Confucian culture.
一个人的善念的开始就是感恩，你看众生都是会不断地下地狱的。从地狱里出来非常自私、非常恶的一个众生，怎么让他从自私自利、损人利己的心里面转过来生起一个善心、善念来呢？就是感恩，只有从感恩开始。
The beginning of a person's kind intentions is gratitude. Look at all sentient beings; they continuously experience falling into the hell. When a very selfish and negative being comes out from hell, how can we help them turn away from their self-centered and self-seeking mindset and cultivate a kind and benevolent heart? It is through gratitude, as gratitude is where it all begins.
感恩是修善心、修善念的第一步，不管你是感谁的恩，你必须要感恩。
Gratitude is the first step in cultivating kind mind and benevolent thoughts. No matter who you are grateful to, it is essential to be grateful.
我们末法时代的众生，不要说普通的众生，就是我们现在大部分的佛教徒，这个感恩的心都是不够的，我们骂别人“忘恩负义”，其实我们每个人都是忘恩负义，真的，因为人自私嘛。
In this Dharma-ending age, not to mention ordinary sentient beings, even most Buddhists nowadays lack a sufficient grateful mind. We often criticize others for being ungrateful, but in reality, every one of us tends to forget gratitude because of our inherent selfishness.
别人对你有恩的时候，今天对你有恩，打比方你急着要用钱，很着急，心急如焚，着急地问人家借钱，借一万块钱、二万块钱给你，“哎呀，真是太感谢了，感谢，感谢！”但是过了一个月、两个月，答应好了要还的，到时候不还了，人家问你要，你就会生气。
When others show kindness to you, for example, when you urgently need money and someone lends you ten thousand or twenty thousand bucks, you express deep gratitude, saying, "Thank you so much, thank you!" However, after a month or two when it's time to repay, you refuse to do so and become angry when asked for the money back.
你自己答应要还的，但是你不还，别人问你要，你还会不高兴：“这个人怎么搞的，我都没有钱你还问我要钱”，你心里就不高兴了。
You promised to pay it back, but you don't follow through, and when others ask you for the money, you become displeased and say, "What's wrong with this person? I don't even have the money, and yet, they still ask me for it." In your heart, you feel unhappy.
问你来要钱的时候，很少人会高兴的，很少人会觉得很惭愧，就向人家解释一下，或者你真的没有钱，作为借钱的人，至少给人家一个承诺吧，应该是这样子的。
When one is asked to pay back the money, very few people will feel happy, and very few will feel ashamed. Instead, they may try to explain or, if they genuinely don't have the money, they should at least give the person a promise, as a borrower. It should be like this.
从这个方面说，人的感恩的心是很容易忘的，所以叫忘恩嘛。当时肯定是感恩的，但是过一段时间这个恩就忘掉了，就忘恩了，众生都是很容易忘掉这个恩情的。
From this perspective, a person's heart of gratitude is easily forgotten, that's why it's called "Wang En" (forgetting kindness). At the time, one may feel grateful, but after a while, that sense of gratitude fades away, and the kindness is forgotten. People are prone to easily forget such kindness.
打比方父母的恩，我们说母恩——这个母恩太大了，但是现在的人都是很容易忘恩的，就是很容易忘掉，当然小孩子可能是不懂。
For instance, the kindness of parents, especially a mother's kindness, is immense. However, people nowadays are prone to forgetting such kindness; it is quite easy for them to forget. Of course, children may not understand this fully.
小时候母亲对自己的恩都是很大，十月怀胎不说了，你从生下来给你喂奶，小孩子也是有记忆的，不断地给他喂奶，他就知道叫“妈妈”，一岁两岁慢慢地带大。
During childhood, a mother's kindness is immense. Not to mention the ten months of pregnancy, she feeds you from the moment you are born. Even toddlers have memories, and as they are continuously cared for and fed, they learn to call "mommy" and experience tender care as they grow from one to two years old.
小时候他还是记得，如果母亲离开她，他就会哭的，父母是他唯一的依靠。一没有父母了，小孩子就会哭得不行了，那是他的天，对幼儿来说，父母就是他的天，如果父母没有了，天就塌下来了。
During childhood, they still remember that if their mother leaves, they will cry because their parents are their only reliance. When they lose their parents, young children cry uncontrollably; for them, parents are like their world, and if they are gone, it feels like their world has collapsed.
对幼儿来说，这是他唯一的最大的保护伞，唯一的依靠。小时候你是知道，你在几岁的时候就知道了，但是长大了以后你这些恩都忘得光光的了，你还能记得小时候父母是你唯一的依靠？
For toddlers, this is their one and biggest safety net, their sole reliance. When you were young, you knew this even at a few years old, but as you grew up, you completely forgot all these kindnesses. Can you still remember that your parents were your only reliance when you were little?
对你的恩情这辈子你想报都很困难，除非你把他送到极乐世界去了，送他上西天你的恩才能报。就是说今世父母的恩，你要报，不是很容易报得了的。
In this lifetime, it is very difficult for you to fully pay back the kindness you have received, unless you guide them to the Pure Land. That means to repay the kindness of your parents in this current life is not something easily achievable.
但是我们众生都是很容易忘恩的，很容易忘掉这个恩，你能回忆得起来吗？父母对你的恩有多少？很多都忘掉了，这就是众生。
However, all living beings are easily ungrateful, often overlooking the kindness we have received. Can you recall how much kindness your parents have shown you? Many of us have forgotten much of it; that's the nature of sentient beings.
过去的人为什么那么孝？就是他不忘恩，他记得，很小的时候就记得父母对他好，心里面感恩的心在那里，过去人他的那个孝，当然教育是一方面，有些人与生俱来他的德性在，自然就会孝。
Why were people in the past so filial? It's because they didn't forget kindness; they remembered. From a young age, they remembered the kindness their parents showed them, and the heart of gratitude was there. The filial piety of people in the past, of course, is partly influenced by education, but for some individuals, it is inherent in their nature, and they naturally become filial.
我们都知道宣化上人，他就是大孝，像他那个年代估计也没读过多少书，他文化水平好像不是很高，从小估计也没受过什么教育，父母也死得早，但是他的孝心一般人是没办法比的。
We all know about Venerable Xuanhua; he was incredibly filial. In his era, he probably didn't receive much formal education, and his level of literacy might not have been very high. He likely didn't have much education when he was young, and his parents passed away early. However, his filial piety was unparalleled and beyond comparison with ordinary people.
他守孝三年，可以在父母的坟前搭个茅棚住三年。古代的人真的做得到，三年他能够发自内心的一种哀伤，他不是那种形式上的。
He observed filial mourning for three years, living in a thatched hut in front of his parents' graves for the entire duration. People in ancient times truly could accomplish such deeds; during those three years, he genuinely felt a profound sorrow, not simply following a superficial formality.
后来的人因为受到儒家文化的影响，形式上的东西做得很好看，但是内心里没有真正对父母的一种哀思，这是一种发自内心的一种哀思，而不是做给别人看的。
Later generations, influenced by Confucian culture, may have performed formal rituals and gestures beautifully, but they lacked genuine sorrow for their parents from the depths of their hearts. This genuine sorrow is not for show; it comes from within.
搭个茅棚在那住三年，让别人看：“哦！这是个大孝子。”给自己造名声的，不是这样子的。人家的孝真的是可以做得到，发自内心的感恩，他感恩心特别强，才能够去做到这一点。
Building a thatched hut and living there for three years is not about showing off to others, saying, "Oh, this is a filial child." It's not about seeking fame for oneself. True filial piety comes from within; it's something that people can genuinely achieve. It arises from a deeply grateful mind, as only with a strong sense of gratitude can one accomplish such a feat.
我们中国人的文化里也有，滴水之恩当涌泉相报，中国人有这种说法，这是讲义的人，他（它）就是说一定不能忘记别人对你的恩情。
In Chinese culture, there is also a saying, "When someone offers you a drop of water, you should repay them with a gushing spring." This saying emphasizes the importance of not forgetting the kindness shown by others.
一个忘恩的人他一定是负义的人，忘恩就负义，负义的话你这人就很自私，为什么呢？因为你把别人对你的恩都忘掉了，你想的都是自己的利益嘛，你这个人肯定是很自私的，你的脑袋里装的都是自己的利和名，欲望啊！
A person who forgets kindness is undoubtedly ungrateful, and being ungrateful means being selfish. Why is that? Because when you forget the kindness shown by others, all you think about is your own interests. You become self-centered and driven by desires for personal gain and recognition.
别人对你的好处你不想着去回报，你没有想着应该回报他，都忘掉了！就像做生意一样的，别人给了你东西你赊账，赊账到了一定的时候不还钱，简单讲就是这样。
If you do not think about repaying the kindness shown by others and you forget about it, it's like doing business. Someone gives you something on credit, and when the time comes to repay, you don't return the money. That's simply how it works.
你今天赊了别人的货，过两天你就不想还钱了，你不想给钱，有点这样的味道了，说得商业的话就是这样。
You buy goods on credit today, but after a few days, you don't want to pay back the money anymore. You don't want to give the money back; it feels a bit like in a business situation.
有些人是这样的，借了别人的东西，放在自己房间过了一段时间以后，他就不愿意还了，并且他觉得这东西就是他的了，你再问他要回去他心里就不高兴，虽然可能也不提，你问他要的时候，他甚至会说没有了，丢了，骗人。
Some people are like this: they borrow things from others, keep them in their own rooms for a while, and then they become unwilling to return them. They even start feeling like those things belong to them. When you ask them to give it back, they feel unhappy. Although they might not directly refuse, they may even claim they have lost or misplaced the item to deceive others.
当然也有人会还给你，但是他心里就不舒服了，他会觉得这东西怎么就……好像他借完了以后一段时间就变成他的了，他就不想还了，很多这样的人，他就忘记了还。
Of course, some people may still return the item to you, but they will feel uncomfortable in their hearts. They might think, "Why should I...?" It's as if after borrowing it for a while, the item becomes theirs, and they no longer want to return it. There are many people like this who simply forget to return what they borrowed.
忘记了还这就是一种忘恩，你就是忘记了还，你也是忘恩。虽然你再忙，你都不应该忘记。借来的东西你就应该记得一定要还，暂时忘记是可以的，忘记一两天，但是你不可能一直都忘记掉，一直忘记肯定你这个人就是有问题，你德行就是有问题的。
Forgetting to return what you borrowed is a form of ingratitude. If you forget to return something, you are also forgetting the kindness shown to you. No matter how busy you are, you should never forget. You should always remember to return what you borrowed. It's okay to temporarily forget for a day or two, but you can't keep forgetting indefinitely. If you constantly forget, it indicates a problem with your character and integrity.
师父相信一个有德行的人，借了别人的东西一定是很感恩的，然后用完了以后应该是非常感激地去还给人家，这就是一个人的品德。一个最基本的德行这是很重要的！看上去没有什么，但是特别地重要。
I believe that a person with good character will feel deeply grateful when borrowing something from others. After using it, they will return it with heartfelt appreciation. This is a reflection of one's virtue. It might seem simple, but it's incredibly significant—a fundamental aspect of good character that holds great importance.
看上去没什么，“我就是借了你这么个小东西嘛，有什么了不起的，有什么好还的，没什么。”可能觉得：“你那么有钱，你都是亿万富翁了，拿一点钱给我用用有什么关系吗？”
It may seem like nothing much, saying, "I just borrowed this small thing from you, what's the big deal? Why bother returning it, it's not a big deal." They might think, "You're so wealthy, you're already a billionaire, what difference does it make to lend me a little money?"
不应该还呢，他就觉得：“你这么有钱，我借一点钱还用还吗？”他会这样子想，你觉得这样想对不对呀？别人有钱关你什么事啊？比如对方是个亿万富翁，问他借个几千块钱觉得不用还了，他就会这么想，甚至不想还。“你太有钱了，应该给我点用。”
If they feel like there's no need to return it, and they might think, "You are so wealthy, why should I bother returning this little bit of money?" They may have such thoughts. Do you think it's right for them to think like this? What does it matter to you if others are wealthy? For example, if the other person is a billionaire and they ask to borrow a few thousand bucks, they may feel like there's no need to repay it, and they might even think, "You are so wealthy; you should give me some to spend."
众生有这样的心态，这都是不对的，这都是一种不感恩的心。也有这种仇富的心态，看到有钱人，你不给他用，他就觉得你这个人很坏，你拿点钱给他用，他就觉得是应该的。
Such attitudes in people are all incorrect; they reflect an ungrateful heart. Some may even harbor a resentment towards the wealthy. When they see someone who is wealthy, they might feel that if you don't lend them money, you are a bad person. However, if you do lend them some money, they might consider it as something they deserve.
末法时代的人都是越来越往这个方向走了，这样的人你叫他学佛，师父觉得几乎是不可能的，但是这样的人佛门里也有的，很多的现象，这种现象都有。
In the Dharma-ending age, people are increasingly moving in this direction. For such individuals, it is nearly impossible to guide them to learn Buddhism. However, even in the Buddhist community, there are people with such attitudes, and there are many instances of this phenomenon.
感恩的心是一切一切的慈悲心的开始，无论哪个宗教，无论是学什么的都是从感恩开始学的。
A heart of gratitude is the beginning of all compassion, regardless of which religion or field of study. All teachings start with gratitude.
易明之光 Mini读书@2023