第三辑 为人处世 Volume 3: Dealing with People
孔子经常讲宽恕。什么叫恕？就是别人犯错，你不往心里去，你心不跟着他的错误走，不愤怒。
Confucius often spoke about forgiveness. What does forgiveness mean? It means that when others make mistakes, you don't take it to heart, your mind doesn't follow their errors, and you don't harbor anger.
别人犯错，可能是对你，也可能是对别人，不管怎样，你都不要生气，生气没用，而且会伤害自己。一旦生气，就说明你已经掉沟里了。他犯了错，你紧跟着他就犯错了，两个人一起往沟里掉。
When others make mistakes, whether it's directed at you or someone else, do not get angry. Anger is futile and only harms yourself. Once you get angry, it shows that you have already fallen into a pit. If someone makes a mistake, and you follow them by making a mistake as well, both of you end up falling into the pit together.
“恕”，就是看到别人犯错的时候，我们心里要对他生起宽容的心、慈悲的心。就像你看到自己三岁的孩子犯错误，你会跟他生气吗？你是不是宽恕的？你会打他、骂他吗？肯定不会。到了七八岁，天天不断地教导，他还是犯错的时候，你可能会打了。但是三五岁的孩子，他犯错，你肯定不会乱打他，这就是宽恕。
"Forgiveness" means that when we see others make mistakes, we should cultivate a heart of tolerance and compassion towards them. It's like when you see your three-year-old child making a mistake, would you get angry with them? Would you not forgive them? Would you hit or scold them? Certainly not. When they are seven or eight years old, you might discipline them if they keep making mistakes after continuously teaching and guiding every day. However, with a three or five-year-old child, when they make a mistake, you would definitely not resort to hitting them haphazardly. That's what forgiveness is about.
我们对小孩会宽恕，但是对成年人就不宽恕，觉得他应该知道——我们心里已经提前设定了他应该这样，应该那样。当别人没有按照我们所认为的“应该”去做的时候，我们就认为他犯错了，事实上，他不一定有错。只不过是在我们的主观分别念里面，认为他犯错误了，然后就开始生气，或者开始对抗，或者生起轻慢心，甚至会幸灾乐祸，这些都是负面情绪，是不对的。
We may forgive children, but we are less forgiving towards adults, thinking they should know better - we have already set in our minds how they should be or act. When others don't do things the way we think they "should," we consider them to be wrong, when in fact, they may not be. It is simply in our subjective judgments, thinking that they have made a mistake, and then we get angry, start to resist, harbor contempt, or even take pleasure in their misfortune. These are negative emotions and are unjustified.
正面的心态就是宽恕，不管他犯什么错，你的心不会愤怒，不会生气，这就叫宽恕；你要是生气了，即使表面上宽恕了他，实际上是假的，因为你心里面没有宽恕——伪君子就是这样，表面上宽恕别人，说得非常好听：“我不会在意的。”转头就开始害人家了。
A positive mindset is forgiveness, no matter what mistakes they make, your heart won't be angry or upset, that's called forgiveness. If you become angry, even if you show forgiveness on the surface, it's actually fake because you haven't truly forgiven in your heart. Hypocrites behave this way, they may appear to forgive others and say things like, "I won't mind," but then they turn around and harm others.
我们要从心上去解决问题，心里宽恕才是真的宽恕。所以这个“恕道”是不容易的，当我们从智慧上彻底明白了因果、真正地生起出离心以后，就很容易做到宽恕。
We need to resolve issues from within our hearts, true forgiveness comes from a forgiving heart. Therefore, the way of forgiveness is not easy. When we fully comprehend karma with wisdom and genuinely generate renunciation, forgiving becomes effortless.
真想出离的人，三界之内的人犯错，你是不会在意的。他犯他的错，你能帮他就帮他一把，帮不了就随缘了。他对你的犯错、对你的伤害，那也是帮助你成道、消你的业啊！你为什么不感恩他呢？
Those who truly seek renunciation won't be concerned about the mistakes of beings in the Three Realms. If they make mistakes, help if you can, or leave it if you can't. Their mistakes or harm towards you are also helping you progress on the way of enlightenment and eliminating your negative karma. Why wouldn't you be grateful to them?
当你有了正知正见，知道应该宽恕，也知道自己错在哪里，但是自己的负面的情绪还是控制不住往外冒，那怎么办呢？没有别的办法，就是听法。
When you possess true understanding and true view, knowing that you should forgive and also recognizing your own faults, but you still find it difficult to control the emergence of negative emotions, what should you do? There is no other way but to listen to the Dharma teachings.
听一会儿心里就舒服多了，刚才那个业就消下去好多，心里面那个火就下来了；你不听法，就一直在那个境界里，十天半个月都不一定出得来。
After listening for a while, your heart will feel much more at ease, and the negative karma from earlier will subside significantly, and the anger within you will diminish. If you don't listen to the teachings, you will remain stuck in that state, and it might take ten days or even half a month to come out of it.
这就是修行啊。可能你下一次还会犯同样的错误，但是下一次你再去听法的时候，烦恼就比上一次降伏得更快一点，这样经过几百次、几千次，慢慢地，你就成功了。
This is the way of cultivation. You may still make the same mistake the next time, but when you listen to the teachings again, the afflictions will be subdued a little faster than the previous time. After going through hundreds or even thousands of times, gradually, you will succeed.
谁也不可能一两次就成功，都是经过无数次地反复、反复，每一次熏习，那个烦恼的习气就会弱一点、弱一点，慢慢地削减。三五年以后，就能看到一点成果了，这颗心不再像以前那么狂躁，慢慢地老实了。
No one can succeed in just one or two attempts. It takes countless repetitions, over and over again, with each repetition weakening the habit of afflictions a little bit. Slowly, it diminishes. After three to five years, you will start to see some results. The mind is no longer as restless as before and gradually becomes more composed.
易明之光 Mini读书@2023