第一辑 安乐与自在 Volume 1: Inner Peace and Freedom
第二章 心理上的痛苦
Chapter 2 Psychological Suffering
求不得、爱别离、怨憎会
除了身体上的痛苦，我们心里也有种种的苦
这些苦来自于哪里？
Not getting what you want, separating from what you love, encountering what you dislike.
Apart from physical pain, we also have various sufferings in our minds.
Where do these sufferings come from?
人类心理上的痛苦主要有三大类：求不得苦、爱别离苦和怨憎会苦。
There are three main types of psychological sufferings: the suffering of not getting what one wants, the suffering of separation from what one loves, and the suffering of encountering what one dislikes.
一、求不得苦
The suffering of not getting what one wants
当一个人贪求或者贪爱一样东西时，很想得到它，但在得到它之前，必须克制住自己的贪求心、贪爱心，这时会有一种苦，叫求不得苦。贪求心、贪爱心越强烈，这种求不得苦就会越强烈。同时可能还伴随着紧张、焦虑、担忧等各种心理上的负面情绪。
When people crave or desire something, they strongly want to obtain it. However, before obtaining it, they must restrain their craving and desire. At that time, the suffering of not getting what one wants arises. The stronger the craving and desire, the greater the suffering. Meanwhile, they may also have various negative emotions, such as tension, anxiety, and worry.
比如，一个人想要一个自己的房子，他可能努力工作，耗费心血、竭尽全力，经过多年的辛劳，但很可能还没来得及攒够首付款，房子就涨价了。或者因为贷不到款，买房更是遥遥无期。这个求不得苦一直伴随着他生活。
For example, if a person wants to own an apartment, they may work hard, devote themselves, and do their utmost to achieve it. However, after years of hard work, the apartment price may have already increased before they have managed to save enough for a down payment. Or due to not being able to secure a loan, buying an apartment becomes even more hopeless. The suffering of not getting what one wants remains with them throughout their life.
当一个人执著一件事情或事业时，很想获得成功，但在获得成功之前，必须忍受各种艰辛和挫折，克制内心成功的渴望，这个求不得苦也一直伴随着他的奋斗。
When a person is attached to something or a career, there is a strong desire to achieve success.
However, before achieving success, they must endure various hardships and setbacks and restrain the inner desire for success. The suffering of not getting what one wants continues to accompany them throughout their journey of striving.
比如，一位体育运动员经过十几年的刻苦锻炼和竞争，终于赢得了参加国际比赛的机会，在去参加比赛的路上，一直到比赛的前一天晚上，强烈的好胜心，让他感受到很大的压力，晚上也睡不好，在比赛的过程中，想赢的心理让他感到非常紧张。如果输了，就会沮丧、郁郁寡欢，甚至会痛哭流涕，只能忍耐着这种痛苦，等待下一次比赛。
For example, an athlete who has dedicated over a decade to intense training and competition finally earns an opportunity to participate in an international game. On the way to the game, right up until the night before, he is heavily burdened by the strong desire to win. Even at night, he can't sleep well. During the game, the desire to win makes him feel extremely nervous. If he loses, he would feel frustrated, gloomy, and even cry. He can only endure the suffering and wait for the next opportunity.
这种想赢的求不得苦可能会激励着他继续忍受各种痛苦，去精勤刻苦的训练。诸如此类的求不得苦太多了。
The suffering of wanting to win but not being able to may motivate him to endure various hardships and continue intense training. There are numerous examples of the suffering of not getting what one wants.
现在这种高科技时代，人类的求不得苦是很多很多的，没有房子想要房子，有了房子想要豪宅，有了一栋豪宅想要更多的豪宅；没有车想要车，有了车想要豪车，有了一辆豪车想要更多的豪车，甚至有些人想要买飞机。还有那个世界首富马斯克，正在准备移民火星。
In this high-tech era, humanity experiences numerous sufferings of not getting what one wants. Those who have no apartment want one; those who own an apartment desire a mansion; and those who own a mansion want more mansions. Those who have no car want one; those who own a car desire a luxury car; and those who own a luxury car want more luxury cars. Some even want to buy an airplane. The world's richest person, Elon Musk, is even preparing to immigrate to Mars.
本人以为，拯救地球比移民火星应该更有良知、更有意义。如果地球保护好了，可以千万年地使用下去，不是更好吗？
I believe that saving the Earth is more conscientious and meaningful than immigrating to Mars. If we take good care of our planet, it can be used for millions of years. Isn't that better?
衣食住行，人类的需求越多，求不得苦就越多；需求心越强烈，求不得苦就越强烈。
In terms of clothing, food, housing, and transportation, the more needs humans have, the more suffering of not getting what one wants they experience; the stronger their desire for those needs, the stronger the suffering of not getting what one wants.
求不得苦还会伴随着其他负面的情绪，比如忧愁、悲伤、自卑、嫉妒、抱怨、患得患失等等各种忧苦。
Meanwhile, the suffering of not getting what one wants may be accompanied by other negative emotions, such as sorrow, sadness, inferiority complex, envy, complaint, and worry about gains and losses.
当一个人的需求获得满足的同时，求不得苦就会得到缓解或解除，负面情绪也会得到舒缓而逐渐消失，而感到快乐。
When one's needs are met, the suffering of not getting what one wants is alleviated or eliminated, and negative emotions are also relieved and gradually fade away, leading to a sense of happiness.
二、爱别离苦
The suffering of separation from what one loves
爱别离苦是指亲爱之人以某种因缘相互离别、不得共处，由此产生极大的苦楚；同时可能还伴随着思念、紧张、焦虑、忧愁等各种心理上的负面情绪。
The suffering of separation from what one loves refers to the immense suffering that arises when loved ones are separated or unable to be together due to some reason. It may be accompanied by various negative emotions such as longing, tension, anxiety, and sorrow.
人世间，男女之间谈恋爱，彼此有了很深的感情执著。如果因为客观的原因分离，便会爆发强烈的忧苦、执著，忍受着牵肠挂肚、撕心裂肺的煎熬，情执愈深，离别愈苦。人有情执，就有大苦。
In earthly life, when men and women engage in romantic relationships, they develop strong emotional attachment to each other. If they are separated due to some objective reason, they will experience intense distress and attachment, enduring immense torment. The stronger the emotional attachment, the greater the suffering of separation. Emotional attachment brings great suffering.
恩爱的人如果有一方离世，另一方也会悲痛欲绝，有些人甚至会郁郁寡欢而死。如果有一方移情别恋，另一方就可能会由爱生恨，产生强烈的嗔恨心，或者报复心，有自杀的，也有杀对方的。这种因情而杀人的案件，发生率在人类谋杀案件中排名第二。
If one partner in a romantic relationship dies, the surviving partner may be devastated. Some may even pass away in a depressed state. If one partner in a relationship falls in love with someone else, the other may be overwhelmed with strong anger or a desire for revenge. Some may even commit suicide or murder their partner. The incidence of homicides caused by romantic conflicts ranks second among all homicides.
还有父母和孩子之间、兄弟姐妹之间的感情执著，也是会导致爱别离苦，上演各种人生的悲剧。
Besides, the emotional attachment between parents and children, as well as among siblings, can also give rise to the suffering of separation from what one loves, resulting in various tragedies in life.
另一方面，如果自己喜爱的物品丢失了、损坏了，也会产生爱别离苦，同时也会对损坏者产生强烈的嗔恨心。如果是自己不小心丢失的，也会产生强烈的懊悔心，非常难受。这也是爱别离苦。
By the same token, if a beloved item is lost or damaged, it can also give rise to the suffering of separation from what one loves, as well as strong anger towards the one who damaged it. If the loss is due to one's own carelessness, then strong regret and distress will also arise. This is also the suffering of separation from what one loves.
当喜爱的人或物失而复得，爱别离苦就会得到缓解或解除，负面情绪也会得到舒缓而逐渐消失，而感到快乐。
When a beloved person or item is regained, the suffering of separation from what one loves is alleviated or eliminated, and negative emotions are also relieved and gradually disappear, leading to a sense of happiness.
三、怨憎会苦
The suffering of encountering what one dislikes
一个人如果与怨家或仇家相遇，就会产生怨恨、厌恶或嫌弃之心，同时可能还伴随着紧张、恐惧、焦虑、忧愁等各种心理上的负面情绪。就会时时担心、处处提防，生怕什么时候被怨敌伤害、打击、暗算，甚至害怕因此丧命。即使仇怨轻微的、不得已和厌恶的人待在一起，也会感到心情非常不好。
When a person encounters an adversary or enemy, resentment, disgust, or aversion may arise. Meanwhile, they may also have various negative emotions, such as tension, fear, anxiety, and sorrow. As a result, they will be constantly anxious and on guard, in fear of being hurt, attacked, plotted against, or even killed by the enemy. Even in mildly hostile situations, if they have to be around someone they dislike, they will be in a bad mood.
人与人之间之所以产生怨恨和仇恨，主要是因为有一方偷窃、骗取或者强抢另一方喜爱的物品；或者有一方殴打、辱骂、诽谤、诬陷、迫害、欺骗另一方，或另一方喜爱的人、动物。
The resentment and hatred between people is mainly due to one party stealing, deceiving, or robbing items that the other party loves; or one party assaulting, insulting, slandering, defaming, persecuting, or deceiving the other party, or the person or animal that the other party loves.
由此可知，怨憎会苦也是由贪求心、贪爱心间接引发的。
Therefore, the suffering of encountering what one dislikes is also indirectly caused by craving and desire.
如果怨家或仇家和解了，怨憎会苦就会得到缓解或解除，负面情绪就会得到舒缓而逐渐消失，而感到快乐。
If one reconciles with their adversary or enemy, the suffering of encountering what one dislikes will be alleviated or eliminated, and negative emotions will be relieved and gradually disappear, leading to a sense of happiness.
内心痛苦的缓解或解除产生的感受，就是内心的轻松、愉快或喜乐之感受，这是同一种感受的两种不同的描述方式而已。
The feeling that emerges from the relief or the elimination of psychological suffering is relaxation, joy, or happiness in the mind. They are simply two different ways to describe the same feeling.
可是人类很愚痴，只贪著内心痛苦的缓解或解除产生的感受，而不想要内心痛苦。
However, humans are ignorant, they only want the feeling that arises from the relief or the elimination of psychological suffering, but not the suffering itself.
人类的内心痛苦持续的时间是长的，而内心痛苦的缓解或解除产生的感受却是短暂的。
Psychological suffering is lasting, while the feeling that arises from the relief or the elimination of psychological suffering is fleeting.
所谓快乐，“快”是短暂的意思；“乐”是缓解、舒缓的意思。
In the term 'Kuai Le' (happiness), 'Kuai' means fleeting, while 'Le' means alleviation.
从以上的分析可以得知，由执著心、需求心，肯定会引发心理上的三种苦以及各种负面情绪之苦，而这些苦就会导致身体上的疾病或伤亡等痛苦。身体上痛苦，又会增加各种负面情绪之苦，由此，进一步增加身体上的痛苦。
From the analysis above, we can see that attachment and desire inevitably lead to the three types of mental sufferings and various negative emotions. These sufferings can lead to physical pain such as illness, injury, and death. Physical pain, in turn, amplifies various negative emotions, thereby further increasing physical pain.
总之，无论是生理上的痛苦，还是心理上的痛苦，痛苦产生的时候是苦，痛苦持续的时候是苦，痛苦的缓解或解除以及负面情绪的舒缓，本质上只是苦的感受在减少，并没有其他的感受。
In conclusion, whether it is physical or mental suffering, its arising is suffering; its process is suffering; its alleviation or elimination, as well as the relief of negative emotions, is essentially the reduction of suffering, without any other feeling.
人类却把苦的感受减少叫做舒服、快乐、愉悦，其实，这是人类心理上的误区。
Human beings, however, mistakenly label the reduction of suffering as comfort, happiness, and pleasure. In reality, this is a psychological misconception.
我们把这种苦的感受减少叫做变苦受。也就是说，人类称其为舒服、快乐、愉悦的感受，本质上是变苦受。
We refer to the reduction of suffering as the suffering of change. In other words, the feelings that humans label as comfort, happiness, and pleasure are essentially the suffering of change.
从今以后，我们就知道，舒服、快乐、愉悦、愉快等词语都是变苦的同义词。
From now on, we can know that terms like comfort, happiness, pleasure, and joy are synonymous with the suffering of change.
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