第三辑 为人处世 Volume 3: Dealing with People
智慧和慈悲心是宽恕的根本。
Wisdom and compassion are fundamental to forgiveness.
当我们有了因果的正见，我们对不懂因果的人就比较容易宽恕；
当我们有了出离心以后，我们对世间的那些没有出离心的人也比较容易宽恕；
当我们有了无我的空性智慧的时候，对那些没有无我空性智慧的人也是比较容易宽恕；
当我们有慈悲心的时候，对众生的错误就更容易宽恕了。
When we have the right view of cause and effect, we tend to forgive those who do not understand cause and effect.
When we have renunciation, we tend to forgive those worldly people without renunciation.
When we have the emptiness wisdom of no-self, we tend to forgive those without the emptiness wisdom of no-self.
When we have compassion, it is easier to forgive the faults of sentient beings.
所以说宽恕，智慧和慈悲才是根本。
That is why wisdom and compassion are fundamental to forgiveness.
恕道包括两个方面：一个是宽恕自己，一个是宽恕别人。
The way of forgiveness consists of two aspects: one is forgiving oneself, and the other is forgiving others.
所以我们应该好好地学习正法，当我们有了正知正见、有了正念的时候，对自己的某些烦恼和习气暂时没有力量去改正，当然我们是有觉知的，就是暂时改变的力量不够、不能够很快地降伏和消除，
Therefore, we need to make an effort to learn Dharma. When we have the right view, understanding, and mindfulness, but temporarily lack the power to correct some afflictions and habitual patterns, we are aware of them. However, for the time being, we do not have enough power to change and cannot subdue and eliminate them quickly.
但我们有一个正确的态度，没有自责，没有自卑，而是宽恕自己，当然要忏悔——忏悔、宽恕，忏悔就是愿意改，宽恕是让自己慢慢来。
However, we should adopt the right attitude: no self-blame, no inferiority complex, but rather, forgiving ourselves. Of course, we must repent and forgive – repentance entails a willingness to change, while forgiveness allows ourselves the time needed.
我们要知道，自责和自卑也是一种负面的情绪，我们对待自己的负面情绪，应该像医生对待病人的疾病一样，或者说像精神病院的医生对待精神病人一样。
We need to recognize that self-blame and low self-esteem are also negative emotions. We should approach our negative emotions in the same way a doctor treats a patient's disease or a psychiatrist treats a mentally ill patient.
当我们出现负面情绪的时候，我们很快就应该觉察到，转念，我们对自己的负面情绪有这样正确的态度、心态，没有自责，而是宽恕、忏悔。
When negative emotions arise, we should promptly recognize and transform them. Adopting a positive attitude towards our negative emotions, we choose forgiveness and repentance over self-blame.
没有学习过正法的人，没有反省能力，即使反省到了，也反省不到位，不深刻，所以他们总是觉得：“别人错，我对，我没错。”
People who have not learned the Dharma lack the ability to introspect. Even if they attempt it, their introspection may not be sufficient or profound, leading them to always believe, "It's others' fault, not mine."
有些人学佛多年，并没有学会对治烦恼习气的方法，
Some people have studied Buddhism for many years but have not mastered the skill of applying antidotes to afflictions and habitual patterns.
或者有些学佛的人，虽然学会了对治烦恼习气的方法，但是，由于串习得不够，也会很容易观别人的过失，然后很生气，没有宽恕的心态。
Some people study Buddhism and learn to apply remedies to afflictions and habitual patterns. However, without long-term practice, it remains easy for them to notice others' faults and react with anger, lacking forgiveness.
有些学佛的人，当道友发现他的问题时，用慈悲心来告诉他，他就说别人在观他的过失，很生气；
Some people who study Buddhism, when a Dharma friend compassionately points out their issues, respond by accusing others of finding their faults and become very angry.
有些学佛的人，当道友发现他的问题，用慈悲心来告诉师父的时候，他就说别人在观他的过失、打小报告，也很生气。
Some people who study Buddhism, when a Dharma friend discovers their issues and compassionately reports them to me, may accuse others of finding their faults and snitching, and also become very angry.
所以，不观道友的过失这个要求是针对自己的，当你认为道友在观你的过失的时候，其实这已经表明了你在观道友的过失，
Therefore, the requirement of not finding faults in Dharma friends is for oneself. When you perceive that a Dharma friend is finding your faults, it precisely reflects that you are finding faults in them.
你怎么知道道友观了你的过失呢？你有他心通吗？你怎么知道他不是用慈悲心来帮助你呢？
How do you know that your dharma friend is finding your faults? Can you read his mind? How do you know that he is not helping you out of compassion?
当然，我们看到道友确实存在严重的问题、有过失的时候，就像父母对待自己学龄前的孩子犯错一样，我们要宽恕，不轻慢，不生气，而是想着怎么样地去帮助道友。
Of course, when we observe serious problems in a Dharma friend, instead of despising or getting angry, we should forgive them and think about how to offer assistance, much like parents treating their preschool children who make mistakes.
帮助道友最好的办法是：我们要用善巧方便，让他反省到自己的问题，而忏悔，并且愿意改变，而不是去指责他，因为道友对你的信心也不够。
The best way to help a Dharma friend is to use skillful means, making them reflect on their own problems, repent, and be willing to change, rather than blame them, because the Dharma friend doesn't have enough confidence in you.
如果道友听不进去我们的劝谏，我们只能自叹自己的德行不够，自己没有德行去感化道友，我们应该自己忏悔，而不是去生气。
If a dharma friend does not listen to our advice, we can only be sorry for ourselves for not being virtuous enough to influence him. We should repent instead of getting angry.
当然，如果道友已经反省到自己的问题，忏悔后并愿意改变，那么，当他的老毛病要犯的时候，我们就应该去主动地回应他的问题——毫不客气地有力地回应他的问题。
Of course, if a Dharma friend has already realized his problem, repented, and is willing to change, then when his old problem is about to appear, we should respond to his problem actively, directly, and forcefully.
要注意的是，道友没有反省到的问题，我们暂时还是不能够这样去回应，而应该用善巧方便，让他自己反省到自己的问题。要善巧，你德行不够嘛。
It is important to be mindful that if a Dharma friend has not yet recognized a problem, we should refrain from responding in a certain way at that moment. Instead, we should employ skillful means to help them realize the issue. Being skillful is essential, especially when our own virtue may not be sufficient.
所以，我们要多听闻正法，多串习对治烦恼习气的正确方法，多修慈悲心，那么我们既可以宽恕自己，又可以宽恕道友、众生。
Therefore, we should learn Dharma, practice the antidotes to afflictions and habitual patterns, and cultivate compassion more often. In this way, we can forgive ourselves as well as our dharma friends and sentient beings.
易明之光 Mini读书@2023