第三辑 为人处世 Volume 3: Dealing with People
两个人刚开始交朋友的时候，都很好，但是时间久了，就开始把自己的习气、观念强加给对方，就开始吵架了。
When two people first become friends, everything goes smoothly. However, as time passes, they begin to impose their habits and ideas on each other, which leads to arguments.
所以谈恋爱的人，不要多久就会吵来吵去，这就是所谓的“磨合”。公司之间、家庭之间都存在这样的问题。
That's why it doesn't take long for people in romantic relationships to start arguing; it's what's known as "adjustment." This issue also exists in relationships between companies and within families.
所以，我们与人相处，先不要急于把自己的观念想法强加于对方，而是首先要占据“制高点”，要站得高，站得高代表你的见地高、你的思想境界高，有正义、有智慧你才能站得高。
Therefore, when we interact with others, we should not be quick to impose our own ideas and opinions on them. Instead, we should first aim to establish a "position of influence," meaning we should stand tall. Standing tall represents having high principles and a lofty intellectual perspective. Only with justice and wisdom can you truly stand tall.
即使如此，你也不要急着去强迫对方、改变对方。特别是家人之间、夫妻之间，你想改变对方几乎是不可能的，所以你只能改变自己。
Even so, you should not rush to force or change the other person. Especially within families and marriages, trying to change someone else is almost impossible. Therefore, you can only change yourself.
你自己改变了，对方看到了可能就会被你感化，慢慢地也向你学习，也会改变自己，你就把他同化了，这样家庭就和睦了，和同就实现了。
When you change yourself, the other person may be influenced by your transformation, gradually learning from you and changing themselves. In this way, you assimilate them, and this leads to harmony within the family, achieving unity.
现在的人没这个智慧，总是强迫对方听自己的。这样的话就等于是拿着武器威胁、恐吓，甚至打骂来要求对方。
People nowadays lack this wisdom; they often force others to listen to them. This is akin to wielding weapons to threaten, intimidate, or even physically harm someone to make them comply.
但是你的福报不够，各方面让他信服你的德行也还不够。你光有从书上或者从师父那里听来的知识和观点，拿来鹦鹉学舌地跟别人说一说，别人怎么会相信你呢？
However, if your merits are insufficient and you haven't convinced them with your virtuous conduct in various aspects, having knowledge and viewpoints learned from books or teachers and merely parroting them to others won't make them believe in you.
所以你要去实践，要实修，让自己有德行，这样的话，你说出来的就是你自己的智慧、德行的展现，对方慢慢地就能够改变了。
Therefore, you should put these teachings into practice, engage in self-cultivation, and develop your own virtuous conduct. When you speak, your wisdom and virtue will naturally shine through, and over time, the other person may undergo positive changes.
易明之光 Mini读书@2023