第三辑 为人处世 Volume 3: Dealing with People
我们在生活当中都是以自我为中心的，就想着自己的感觉、自己的私心、自己的欲望、自己的想法，不去管别人想什么。跟别人对话时，你只管自己说，要求别人听你的，别人在表达什么你都不是特别用心去听，
In our daily lives, we tend to be self-centered, preoccupied with our own feelings, selfishness, desires, and thoughts, paying little attention to what others may think. When engaging in conversations with others, you focus on expressing yourself, expecting others to listen to you, without genuinely investing effort to listen to what others have to say.
或者听的都是只言片语，因为你不诚心。当你不是很诚心地在听别人表达他的思想时，你听过来的话都是经过自心分别过滤的，也就是说，他说的话都是被你自己重新翻译解释过了的。
You may not attentively listen or may only catch fragments of what others express because you lack sincerity. When you don't genuinely listen to someone sharing their thoughts, the words you hear are filtered through your own preconceptions. In other words, you re-translate and interpret their words according to your own understanding.
我们以为听懂了别人在说什么，其实没听懂，我们听的都是自己重新解释过的、自己想象的意思，其实那并不是别人真正的意思，我们自己理解错了。
We may believe we understand what others are saying, but in reality, we haven't truly grasped it. What we hear is often a reinterpretation and an imaginative understanding shaped by our own perspectives. In truth, this may not accurately reflect the genuine meaning intended by the speaker, as we might have misinterpreted it.
看到别人的一些行为，你也是用自己的分别念去判断：“他这么做是在伤害我。”其实他可能是在帮助你。因为你的自我保护、自我爱著让你去作这样判断、分析。这样的话，你们俩肯定要矛盾、要冲突，因为对方也是这样子的，两个自私自我的人不打架才怪呢。
Observing certain behaviors in others, you may judge based on your own discriminating thoughts: "He's doing this to harm me." In reality, he might be trying to assist you. Your self-preservation and self-love prompt you to make such judgments and analyses. Consequently, conflicts and clashes are bound to arise between you two, as the other person is likely to be just as self-centered. It's only natural for two individuals driven by selfish motives to clash with each other.
与人交往，我们虽然也有自己的想法，但是听对方说话时，得把自己的分别念、执著完全放下，特别是你对他的成见。放下成见是很不容易的，当你对一个人有成见时，就会怀着成见来看他，他说什么、做什么，你都会往那个不好的地方去对号入座。
In social interactions, even though we have our own thoughts, when listening to others, it's crucial to completely set aside our discriminating thoughts and attachments, especially any preconceived notions we may have about them. Letting go of preconceptions is not an easy task. When you hold preconceived notions about a person, you tend to view them through that lens, attributing their words and actions to negative traits.
当你对他有好的成见时，他说坏话你也往好处想；当你对他有恶的成见时，他好你也往坏处想。这就是成见，我们经常都是这样，用自己的成见去判断别人。
When you have a favorable opinion of someone, you tend to interpret their negative words in a positive light. Conversely, when you harbor negative preconceptions about them, you may perceive their positive actions in a negative way. This is the nature of preconceptions – we often judge others based on our own biased perspectives.
其实，人是无常的，他昨天做一件事情是这么想的，今天做同样的事情可能就是另外一种想法了。
In fact, people are impermanent. What someone thought when they did something yesterday may be entirely different from their thoughts when doing the same thing today.
比如他昨天做了一件伤害你的事情，这件事情你不喜欢，你看见了，他可能是自私的心；后来经过一个晚上，他可能看了一部什么电影，或者发生了什么事，他觉得不好意思，惭愧心生起来了，第二天他又来做这个事情，但是心情就不一样了，可能是想帮助你或者利益你的心态。
For instance, if yesterday they did something that hurt you, an act you disliked, you might perceive it as stemming from a selfish mindset. However, after a night has passed, perhaps they watched a certain movie or experienced something that made them feel remorseful or embarrassed. The next day, when they repeat the action, their mindset has changed; maybe they now intend to help or benefit you.
同样一件事情，他昨天和今天，甚至前一个小时和后一个小时，心态都不一样，人心是无常的，是不断在变化的。我们普通人怎么能断定得了呢？我们总是认为对方就是那个样子，不会变的。
The same action, whether done yesterday or today, or even within the span of an hour, can be accompanied by different mental states. The human mind is impermanent, constantly changing. How can ordinary individuals confidently make judgments? We often assume that others will remain the same, unchanging.
所以我们要想真正了解别人的心态，就要修自他相换。别人说什么你都不要有成见，心静静地去听他说什么，去感受他的感受，去听他的心声，你用非常诚恳的心去听，就可以听到他是假的还是真的，都能听得到。
Therefore, if we genuinely want to understand the mindset of others, we must cultivate the practice of exchanging self with others. Avoid preconceptions when others speak; listen with a tranquil heart, feel their emotions, and hear their inner thoughts. By listening with utmost sincerity, you can discern whether their words are genuine or not.
把他的心声听清楚了，你知道他现在真实的心态，然后用你的智慧、善巧往好的方向去引导他。真正的圣者有无我的智慧，任何时候都不是以自我为中心，而是以帮助众生为中心，所以他任何时候都是想方设法去帮助众生。
By clearly understanding their inner thoughts, you grasp their current genuine mindset. Then, using your wisdom and skill, guide them towards a positive direction. True sages possess selfless wisdom, never centered on themselves but always focused on helping sentient beings. Consequently, they consistently strive to assist others in any way possible.
我们也要练习这种心态，跟任何生命交往的时候都不以自我的利益为中心，所做的事情都是在利益他，慢慢地养成这种无我利他的习惯，这样就好办了。
We should also practice this mindset, not centering our actions around personal interests when interacting with any being. Everything we do should be for their benefit, gradually cultivating the habit of selflessness for the benefit of others. This way, things become more manageable.
易明之光 Mini读书@2023