@易明之光 2023-12-24 字数 1845 阅读 0

孩子不孝是被父母养坏的 A Lack of Filial Piety in A Child is Spoiled by Parents

第五辑 生命教育 Volume 5: Life Education


作为父母,你得把孩子抚养好,把他培养成德才兼备的人,最低要求也是不能危害社会。人们常说“不孝有三无后为大”,但如果你生了十个儿子,要么是强盗,要么是土匪,都是干坏事的,那你说你这算有后吗?
As parents, you must nurture your children well and cultivate them into individuals with both virtue and talent. The minimum requirement is that they should not pose a threat to society. People often say, "Lack of filial piety has three consequences, the greatest is having no descendants." If you have ten sons, and they all turn out to be either robbers or bandits, engaging in harmful activities, can you still claim to have descendants?

所谓“有后”,是指一个人做了对社会有价值有利益的事情,对后来者产生了好的影响。作为普通人,哪怕自己天生能力差一点,但是你能够把自己的孩子培养成有用的人,那也是算有后。
The term “having descendants” refers to an individual doing something valuable and beneficial for society, creating a positive impact on future generations. As an ordinary person, even if you may have limited abilities, if you can raise your children into useful individuals, it is still considered having descendants.

孩子没教育好你就是无后,如果你没把孩子教育好,你的孩子特别自私,在社会上只知道索取,不去为社会服务,这是对社会最大的危害了。如果每一个家长都把自己的孩子教育好了,这个社会就太平了。
If you fail to educate your child properly, you are considered to have no descendants. If you haven't raised your child well, and they turn out to be exceptionally selfish, only focused on taking from society without contributing, it poses the greatest harm to society. If every parent ensures the proper education of their children, society would be more harmonious and peaceful.

我们绝大部分父母都不会教育孩子,都是溺爱孩子,舍不得让孩子吃苦。其实孩子们小时候还是要受点苦,没有受过苦的孩子,长大了是不会有出息的。在温室里养大的树苗,是不会成为栋梁的。
The majority of parents don’t know how to educate children, tend to spoil their children, and are reluctant to let them experience hardship. In reality, children need to endure some difficulties during their early years. Those who haven't faced hardships during childhood are unlikely to achieve success in the long run. Saplings nurtured in a greenhouse will not grow into strong pillars.

现在都是独生子多,孩子从小就自我中心,这对孩子的成长是非常不利的。家长没有几个舍得让孩子受苦的,看上去是对孩子好,其实是害了孩子。这样的孩子一般长大了也不懂得感恩,不懂得感恩父母的人,绝对不会真正对别人好的,他走上社会,也没人会喜欢他,你这就是害孩子。
Nowadays, many families have only one child, and these children often grow up self-centered from an early age. This is highly detrimental to their development. Few parents are willing to let their children experience hardship, thinking they are doing them a favor, but the truth is, it harms the child. Such children often grow up without a sense of gratitude. Those who don't appreciate their parents are unlikely to be genuinely kind to others. When they enter society, they may struggle to form positive relationships, and this is detrimental to the child's well-being.

你要培养孩子,一定要让孩子懂得孝道、懂得感恩,特别是懂得感恩。如果孩子不懂得感恩,就很糟糕了,他长大以后首先不理你,他不会孝顺你。他不懂得孝,对父母都没有感恩心,你说他对别人会有感恩心吗?他到社会上肯定是个彻头彻尾的索取者,这样的人是危害社会的人。即使不犯罪,他也会投机取巧,当了官也是贪官。
When raising a child, it is essential to instill filial piety and, especially, a sense of gratitude. If a child lacks gratitude, it can be detrimental. In the future, they may first ignore you and fail to show filial respect. If a child does not understand filial piety and lack gratitude towards their parents, it's unlikely they will be grateful to others. Such an individual may become a thorough opportunist in society, always seeking to take rather than give. Even if they don't engage in criminal activities, they may resort to opportunism and, if in a position of authority, become corrupt.

如果你养的儿子,虽然当了大官,但最后是贪官,坐牢了,甚至枪毙了——这样的例子并不少见,那时候你作为父母怎么想?没脸见人了。有些贪官还不服,觉得自己是站错了队被人家害了,其实你肯定是干坏事了,不管你站哪一边,都是干了坏事,否则的话怎么会去坐牢?
If the son you raised, despite achieving a high-ranking position, ends up becoming corrupt, imprisoned, or even facing execution – a scenario not uncommon, as parents, how would you feel? It would undoubtedly be a shame and embarrassment. Some corrupt officials may deny their guilt, claiming they were framed or stood on the wrong side, but in reality, their actions were likely unethical, regardless of the side they claim to be on. They must have engaged in wrongdoing; otherwise, how would they end up in prison?

人哪,都是被父母害的。社会上没有人会去培养你懒惰的习气、索取的习气,你要是不付出,就什么都得不到。孩子都是被父母养坏的,因为他从父母那索取是不需要回报的,慢慢地就养成不感恩的心,不懂得感恩。父母给多少他都觉得不够,觉得没有别人的父母好。
People, in a sense, are shaped by their parents. In society, no one will foster habits of laziness or entitlement. If you don't make an effort, you won't gain anything. Children can be spoiled by their parents because they receive without the need to pay back. This can gradually develop into an ungrateful attitude and a lack of understanding about gratitude. Regardless of how much parents provide; the child may feel it's insufficient and believe that other people's parents are better.

父母要教育孩子:你到外面吃别人一餐饭都没有那么容易,乞丐讨一碗饭都得感恩。我们从小一把屎一把尿给你养大,你还不懂得感恩?
Parents should educate their children that it's not as easy as going outside and having someone else provide you with a meal. Even beggars expressing gratitude for a bowl of rice. From changing your diapers to raising you since you were a baby, shouldn't you be grateful?

所以人不受教育啊,父母是关键,现在的老师也不懂这些,他们也不教这些,这个社会这样下去,就非常地可怕。
So, if people are not educated, parents play a crucial role. Nowadays, many teachers may not emphasize these values in their teachings, and the societal consequences can be frightening.

当大多数人都不懂得感恩的时候,天就会降灾了。你以为天灾是自然灾害吗?那可不是啊。
When the majority of people lack a sense of gratitude, disasters may befall. Do you think natural disasters are truly just acts of nature? That's not necessarily the case.

这个《新解不孝有三,无后为大》,大家都可以看一看,只要是中国人,都应该看一看,要懂得什么叫大孝、中孝和小孝,不要光想着生儿子。要是儿子生出来,你不好好地培养,将来他危害社会,那你对父母就是大不孝——如果你儿子最后被枪毙了、坐牢了或无期徒刑了,然后你父母还在的话,他怎么想?这不是最大的不孝吗?不要说父母了,祖宗都因你蒙羞啊。
This phrase, "The new explanation of lack of filial piety has three consequences, the greatest is having no descendants." can be instructive for everyone, especially for Chinese people. All should take a look and understand the concepts of major filial piety, moderate filial piety, and minor filial piety. It's essential not to focus solely on having sons. If you have a son and fail to raise him properly, leading to harm to society, it is the greatest act of unfilial conduct towards your parents. If your son ends up facing execution, imprisonment, or a life sentence, and your parents are still alive, imagine how they would feel. Wouldn't that be the ultimate act of unfilial conduct? It's not just a disgrace to your parents but to your ancestors as well.

所以我们要从小就教育好孩子,如果发觉自己的孩子有问题、有劣根性,从小就得严格对待,不能任其发展的。
Therefore, it is crucial to educate children from a young age. If you notice any issues or negative tendencies in your child, it is essential to address them rigorously from early on, preventing them from developing further.

三岁到七岁很重要,就像种树一样,小苗还是可以扶正的,好扶;大了就难了,它就长得根深了。从三岁开始,人的贪嗔痴的习气就出来了,从小就要严厉对待,要教他懂得感恩,教他不要起贪心,不要去占别人的便宜,不要去偷盗。
The ages between three and seven are crucial, much like planting a tree. When it's still a sapling, you can easily guide and support it. However, as it grows larger, it becomes more challenging to influence. Starting from the age of three, a person's tendencies toward greed, anger, and ignorance begin to manifest. It is essential to be strict from an early age, teaching children to understand gratitude, discouraging greed, and instilling values like not taking advantage of others or engaging in theft.

像现在中国社会的腐败——贪污、受贿,其实都属于偷盗,从小父母没教好啊!为什么他到了那个时候就控制不了自己呢?根本原因是父母。一般父母很清廉的、教育好的孩子,基本上都很少走错路,当然也有例外。教育好的孩子长大了,他一般都不会去干,即使有,也是小小的——替别人办了事,收点小的礼物,从中国古代的礼尚往来来说都不算。
Issues like corruption, embezzlement, and bribery in contemporary Chinese society essentially fall under the category of theft. It often stems from an inadequate upbringing by parents. The reason individuals may find it challenging to control themselves later in life is fundamentally connected to their upbringing. Generally, children raised by honest and well-educated parents are less likely to deviate from the right path, though there can be exceptions. Well-educated individuals, when they grow up, are less inclined to engage in corrupt activities. Even if they do, it tends to be on a smaller scale—doing favors for others and receiving small gifts, which, according to the ancient Chinese principle of reciprocal courtesy, may not be considered transgressions.

现在的中国,一年不知道要抓多少贪官,那些被抓的人,他们的父母、老婆、孩子怎么办呢?
China today, numerous corrupt officials are apprehended each year. For those who are caught, how does it impact their parents, spouses, and children?

其实过去的贪官是很少的,因为古人对教育非常重视,一般都是读四书五经长大的,那些极个别的贪官,有些其实都是“官二代”,过去也有官二代,就是父母当官、儿子继承爵位的那种,原因也是没教育好。一般都是三代、四代以后,父母把孩子宠坏了,然后他又当了官,那就麻烦了,就开始出事。其实第一代自己考出来的,一般都不会贪,很少的。
In the past, there were relatively few corrupt officials because ancient Chinese society placed great emphasis on education. Most individuals were raised with a focus on reading the Four Books and Five Classics. Some of the exceptionally rare corrupt officials were even "second-generation officials", meaning their parents held official positions, and they inherited their titles. The reason for their corruption could also be traced back to their inadequate upbringing. Generally, it's in the third or fourth generations and beyond that issues arise when parents overly indulge their children, and these children later assume official roles, leading to problems. The first generation that achieved their position through their efforts is typically less prone to corruption; it's a rare occurrence.

这个问题很难解决啊,人心不改,是没有用的,只有圣贤的教育能够解决这个问题,其他任何人都解决不了。原来很多人以为“发展科技生产力”,等大家都有钱了就不贪了,其实不是这样,越有钱,贪得越多,这能解决问题吗?人的欲望是没有止境的,财富越多,贪欲越大。
This problem is indeed challenging to solve. Without a change in the human mind, it seems ineffective. Only the education of sages and wise men can address this issue; no one else can. In the past, many believed that advancing technological productivity and ensuring prosperity for all would eliminate corruption. However, it's not the case; the more wealth people have, the more prone they may become to corruption. Can this solve the problem? Human desires are insatiable, and as wealth increases, so does the temptation for corruption.



易明之光 Mini读书@2023